The Three M’s of a Confident Influencer
Stewart Bewley
Pitching for funding, making that sales call, meeting with your line manager, managing the board—every time you open your mouth and are in the room, online or in-person, that is a potential moment of influence.
How you show up, speak, listen, respond, it all makes a difference and moves the needle—backwards or forwards.
Here are the three M’s of what makes a confident communicator.
Mindset
In every (happy) Hollywood movie there is a hero—who is the main character—and then a wise mentor who helps the hero win the day. It’s Gandalf to Frodo, Yoda to Luke, Haymitch to Katniss, Morgan Freeman to anyone in any movie he has ever been in. The mentor always has something to bring to change the game for the hero. It’s knowledge, revealed in their presence, their wisdom and their ability to tell stories.
You might feel a bit like a hero with no power, but in business, you need to have the Wise Mentor mindset. You need to present with knowledge and hope. What do you have to bring, or to ask of your line manager that will make the company better? What insight have you got from the data that needs to be opened up to help your employers succeed? Here are five questions I use (and often write about) to help you shape your content. As you think about the message you need to bring in a conversation, or presentation, answer these questions. Take no more than five minutes to do it. This needs to be a practical exercise you can do again and again and again.
- Who is the hero? Name them. They are a real human being.
- What is the dragon they need to slay? A dragon sits on the treasure your hero needs and blocks them from getting where they need to go. Name the dragon. Be specific. Is it an outdated system that gives no insight into data? It needs to be a real threat.
- What is the weapon you are going to give them? Are you interviewing for a position? Tell them how your insight will help them slay their dragon. Do you need budget to build a product? Tell them how your product will speed up business processes and increase their revenue.
- What is the treasure? Most presentations stop well before the dragon and don’t talk about the treasure. But what is the actual thing they will get if the dragon is slain? Be as specific as possible.
- What is the future? The dragon is slain. The treasure is found. The way is clear. What can this discovery, this product, this revenue increase do for the future of the company, of your customer? We can’t predict the future but we can lay out a map of what it could be.
Mastery
Your favourite footballer, musician, actor, author: they all have mastered their art. They have practised time and time again. I have created a video resource for each skill you need to master to be a consistently confident communicator. Here are a few:
Pick a skill, watch the video and do it again and again and again. Then a bit more. Then put it into practise everyday. It will cost you time and energy but it will be worth it.
Moments
Now it is about looking for those moments of confident communication, those moments of influencing. Here are some touchpoints for every meeting you want to nail:
- The intro moment
How you welcome people to the meeting. Name them, smile, keeping your camera on, asking open questions—these moments lead to other moments that lead to connection. But you need to be deliberate with each one. - The listening moment
Listening well is all about playing back what the person says so they can lead you on their journey, not you asking questions to get them on yours. And as soon as you listen well everything changes. The atmosphere changes. You allow yourself to be influenced by others and you create a space for genuine conversation and connection. And surely that is the aim of every business meeting. - The summarising moment
Allow time to summarise what has been said and what actions need to be taken. Ask this one question: ‘Is there anything else you want to add?’ and you will be surprised at what it does. It sent me around the world and changed my business forever.
Whatever moments you choose to focus on, skills you choose to master, it all begins and ends with the mindset shift. Otherwise it’s a load of exercises.
And you don’t turn up to work to be able to say, ‘I used my voice well. I stood tall.’ You turn up to work to get things done, to move the business forward and to progress your career. These three M’s will help you do that!
Coming Soon: The Confident Communicator Toolkit
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